Many people excitedly await the yearly Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. I am not one of them. Sports? Please, not my game. Women in swimsuits? I don’t need to wait for a yearly magazine to look at scantily clad women if the desire hits me. However, this year I did take notice and Cheryl Tiegs is to blame. The magazine decided to include Ashley Graham, a “plus size model” as one of three cover models. As a woman who ranges between sizes 14 and 16 I was happy to see this development but really paid it no time or energy. Until Cheryl Tiegs. She spoke up against this forward movement stating that it promoted an unhealthy lifestyle. I followed along and experienced a few different thoughts, emotions, and reactions to her words. My opinions were shared on Facebook and I thought it might even motivate me to finally create a blog and start writing again. Time moved on. I thought the topic was dead and decided new inspiration would someday arrive to motivate me. Until Cheryl Tiegs. This past week she decided that she still needed to speak out on the topic and defend her short sighted views (in my not so humble opinion). I took this as a sign from The Universe to get off my ass and start blogging. So here goes…
Current society has many issues related to image. Self-image, body image, all images are called into scrutiny. The media is often blamed. The continuous expectation that women fit a certain ideal that is fed to us all day long via many channels is often blamed for women experiencing unworthiness, eating disorders, and body dysmorphic disorder, to name a few. As an adult I have had a tendency to not buy into blaming the media. I have taken the stance that we should all be strong enough to not buy into the game. I have had many unsympathetic thoughts for women who allow themselves to be governed by television, magazines, the internet, movies, etc. Until Cheryl Tiegs opened her mouth about Ashley Graham and my inner child demanded some attention.
Born in 1965, my junior high and high school years spanned the mid-seventies through 1984. I was half Thai and half white but grew up being told I was half Mexican and half white (a whole other blog entry). My skin was fair, my hazel eyes were almond in shape, my lips were full, and my hair was dark brown. Oh, and I was chubby. I was never told I was pretty. In junior high I discovered Teen and Seventeen magazines. The notion that I was not pretty was reinforced by images of Cheryl Tiegs, Christy Brinkley, Jerry Hall, etc. There was not one single image I could relate to. At some point, perhaps in the 7th or 8th grade, Teen magazine put a model on the cover with fuller lips, a rounder face, and brown hair. I was stunned! I took the magazine into the bathroom and held the cover up to my face and I gazed long and hard at the reflection in the mirror. Perhaps there was hope for me after all! This memory is what Cheryl Tieg’s words stirred up in my psyche. The feelings of inadequacy and pain of not being good enough washed over me as if I had traveled back in time to that bathroom, looking in the mirror. That is when I realized the reality of what the media can do to us. I was made to face up to the fact that I had been affected and still carried some of that pain with me.
We are fortunate to be in a time when the ideal beauty standard has expanded. A variety of cultures and ethnicities are represented in beauty and fashion magazines, different body shapes and sizes are starting to receive more positive exposure. Yes, obesity does pose certain health risks. I am not denying that and at the same time I am not here to talk about that. It brings me joy to know that young girls and young women have a broader range of role models than I did when I was their age. This is why Cheryl Tiegs needs to keep her mouth shut and not contribute to the negative body issues many young women face today. This wave of body positivity is not hers to take away.
Eventually I grew out of the feelings of inadequacy. I started to accept my looks and even appreciate them. Perhaps this was because I cultivated other parts of my life. My favorite ironic twist is that at the age of 19 when I worked in a department store I asked to transfer to the cosmetic department. I was told that I wasn’t pretty enough to be in cosmetics. Less than 2 years later I was hired back at the same store as the Clinique counter manager! Here I am, just about 30 years later, with a solid career in the beauty industry. A chubby girl selling beauty products to the masses. This would surely make Cheryl Tiegs clutch her pearls! After spending most of my life feeling ambivalent about my looks and body image, somewhere in my mid 40’s I had the realization that I felt pretty. Do you want to know what my next realization was? IT DIDN’T FUCKING MATTER. That’s right. I finally felt pretty and it didn’t change a damn thing because I knew I was FABULOUS. And that, my friends, is what I dedicate this blog to...transcending pretty and all the different ways to navigate being fabulous.