In the past year I have accepted friend requests from many coaches and healers who proceed to not interact with me. Well, at least they didn’t slide into my DMs (Oh how I dislike that saying but it fits this context.) trying to sell me something.
Until the past couple of weeks.
I’ve had a couple of unfortunate DM situations and both showed me clearly that the sender’s only interest in me was as a potential client.
I’m reminded of something I wrote several years ago called “The Over Eager Healer.” This part specifically:
Symptom: You’re that life coach/massage therapist/energy worker who talks to EVERYONE as if they are a potential client.
Treatment: Yes, we have all been trained that everyone is a potential client. However, finesse it. Develop better communication skills. Come down off that pedestal and talk with me as an equal. The moment you show me that you sent me that friend request on Facebook because you saw me as a potential client is the moment you lose a potential client.
One of the situations I encountered this week involved a full-blown sales pitch within 3 minutes of accepting her friend request. Really? Three minutes was not nearly enough time for her to determine if I was her ideal client.
However, it was more than enough time for me to clearly see that she was not my ideal facilitator.
I’ve broadened the scope of friend requests that I accept and initiate in the spirit of expanding my circle and the ever popular networking word. If you are a healer or coach, I accepted your request because I saw you as a colleague and potential connection. I did not see you as $$$. Unfortunately, your intention was based on seeing me as a potential client. (This, of course, does not apply to those of you who interact with me!)
Again, I will repeat myself, “The moment you show me that you sent me that friend request on Facebook because you saw me as a potential client is the moment you lose a potential client.”
So, ladies, let me break it to you gently. YOU. ARE. DOING. IT. WRONG.
Not only are you doing yourself a disservice, you are also doing our industry a disservice. I’m going to do you a favor, though, and point you in the direction of a few people who not only do it right, they do it BEAUTIFULLY.
If you want examples of how to cultivate relationships that can convert to paying clients check out Britt Bolnick, Ali Sievewright, and Anna Bellissima. I have spent money with each of these women. None of these transactions stemmed from them “sliding into my DMs.” I have also declined offers from them and never once felt any weirdness (for lack of a better word) from them. They are class acts all the way around.
To summarize, if you are a healer or coach who has never taken the time to like or comment on any of my posts and your only interest in me is as a potential client, I see you. And it isn’t a cute look.